And then she said...

(Cross-posted on my LJ)

I read an LJ post on a comm called nonfluffypagans about whether it was elitist of a specific group of Native Americans wanting nothing about their religion to be taught or discussed with those who are not tribal members.

I personally agree with the first commenter, who said, "A religion belongs to those who believe and practice it. They make the rules."

(Completely off-topic, I also agree with the later commenter who said, about Paganism, "...you've got a religion that regards cakes, beer and sex as a GOOD THING, if not actively sacred. The benefits should be so obvious that evangelism risks attracting the wrong sort of people."  But I digress.)

Part of why I've been so neglectful of my Vox, which is where I began chronicling the religious aspects of my life (besides having a new full-time job, as well as a houseful of kids home for summer vacation and plenty of critters to clean up after), is that my personal beliefs and practices are undergoing something of a metamorphosis.  I'm not entirely sure that my personal religion can be termed Wicca anymore, although there are certainly more similarities than differences.  However, it's not something I am at all compelled to share, or even really interested in discussing, with others. 

An online friend recently blogged something that suits me very well:

If you're a grown-up walking around with unexamined and unchallenged personal beliefs about the nature of the world, life, our relationships with one another (particularly politics, ethics and religion) and with other living things, if you haven't stopped to check and challenge those beliefs as hard as you can and don't have a basis for why you hold them, then you're doing yourself and those you love a major disservice, and I for one can't trust you.

One of the things that I appreciate most about the best of Pagan faiths is that they don't teach that you should rely upon faith; they teach that you should forever question what you learn, what you experience, what you are told, and what you believe.  There is no exclusively sacred text that all Pagans uphold as the word of the gods; there is nothing written in stone to become the focus for fundamentalists who forbid questioning and curiosity.  There is no One True Way.

When I first began learning about Wicca in my teens, I made the same mistake that many seekers do -- I didn't question a lot of things, and readily accepted that things are done a certain way for a good (yet unexplained) reason, or due to tradition (which should be continued unquestioned).  But my own inherent curiosity (my mother says my first complete sentence was, "What's the difference between this and that?") prompted me to start questioning.  This did not make me entirely popular with the local Pagans I knew at the time...or any Pagans, since.

Then again, popularity has never been one of my goals.  *cheeky grin*  And while there are some practices in my personal faith that have remained unchanged for many years, it's because those particular practices make sense (at least to me) and they work (at least for me).  If there's an unofficial "commandment" of Pagan faiths, it's probably the notion that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Asking the question "why" can be a very touchy situation.  I can't even begin to count the number of times that someone has reacted defensively or angrily when I've asked them "why" -- because they misinterpreted my asking as questioning or doubting their beliefs or judgment, rather than my simple curiosity to discover the reasons behind something.  (And yes, my tone of voice or the particular phrasing I used in my questioning may have made a difference, as I've never won any awards for tact, either.)  It gets real old, real fast, to constantly have to preface your curious inquiries with, "I don't want to start an argument or make you feel uncomfortable, I just want to understand the reasons for this statement/opinion."  When it gets to the point that I feel I should just have a badge made up with an Official Disclaimer, I start becoming incredibly selective about who I'll ask "why" regarding anything!  (Even if that means bringing an interesting conversation to a screeching halt, because I simply have no interest in pussy-footing around someone's prickliness or stumbling into someone's drama-o-rama fest.)

But asking the question "why" is important and necessary, too.  If you can't question the "why" of something inside your own head or heart, you are basically being stupid on purpose -- and that's not something you should ever do without a damned good reason.  I'm not one to promote stupidity for any reason, but there are a few issues I consciously choose to remain ignorant or uninformed regarding, because I do have very good reasons to do so.  However, none of these issues involve religious faith or beliefs.

Although I've spent most of my life being "TMI Girl," a few months ago I came to the conclusion that my personal religious beliefs and practices weren't things I wanted to share any longer.  Not because I'm not proud of them, or because I don't feel they can stand up to scrutiny -- just the opposite, actually.  As I said, they make sense to me and they work for me.  But I just don't feel it's my job to "spread the good word," or justify what I believe, or even try to explain it to anyone who isn't an emotionally intimate and trusted friend.  I'll continue to question myself and my beliefs, and you can question anything you like -- including me and my beliefs.  But that doesn't mean I have to answer any and all questions put to me, if I don't care to.

It used to be the standard of polite society that politics, sex, and religion were Just Not Discussed for the most part.  Somewhere along the way, that changed...and now it seems that everyone, everywhere in America, finds it acceptable -- or even admirable -- to be "TMI Girl/Guy" about not only those topics, but any topic.  It's as though "good taste" not only became unfashionable, but thought of as rather archaic and ridiculous.  But that's not how I view it...so I think I'll take a stab at reinstating good taste, in at least my little corner of the world, at least in my little religious beliefs.

I am so going to throw up.

That is all.

What story from your wild-and-crazy youth would nobody believe about you today?

I've had sex.  OMGWTFBBQ?!  I know, it's shocking.

I was pointed to this website by a post to an online community that specifically snarks items of Pagan topic.  There's a ton of really fraking cool stuff on the site that I really, really want!!!  But (as was pointed out at the online community) most of that which is labeled "Celtic," ain't.

But I still want half the stuff in their "Wheel of the Year" section.  And enough of the other stuff on the site that I bookmarked it under my special folder labeled "Stuff I Want."  *huge grin*

Here's an interesting Witches Weekly, on a topic that is one of the most controversial in the Pagan community: curses.

1. How do you feel about the subject of curses?

There's an old saying, "If a witch cannot hex, she cannot heal."  Some say it means if you don't know how to hex/curse, you cannot succeed at healing (even if you never actually perform a hex).  Some say it's a reminder that every action you take has an opposite action, or a balancing action.  And some say it simply means that if you do not have the will to focus & direct energy for either positive or negative means, your magical workings/spells are ineffectual in any case.

Personally, I think there's not a lot of subtext in the saying.  I think it means that if you cannot bring yourself to take action against someone (if and when it becomes truly needful), you do not have the power to take action for someone, either.  It's like good parenting: sometimes we have to discipline (or -- gasp! -- even punish) our children, in order for them to grow up as ethical & responsible people instead of boundless & selfish monsters.  A loving parent doesn't enjoy punishing, but certainly is aware that sometimes it's necessary.

But the consequences should never be underestimated or taken lightly. In this day & age, corporal punishment is highly suspect by many people, and you might find yourself under investigation by Children's Services if you give your defiant preschooler a solid swat on the ass in the grocery store.  Similarly, the repercussions of casting a curse/hex may be more serious or widespread than you ever could have imagined.
 
2. Is it possible to curse someone? How often do you think it happens?

Long ago, what we call "profanity" actually were curses -- which is why they're sometimes called "curse words."  To tell someone to "go to hell" was actually a curse upon their soul, and to many that was even worse than doing them physical violence.  Even if there was no mystical power behind the epithet, all words do have power to some extent, and so such curses were seen as very grave and serious acts.

As to the sort of curses which involve actual ritual and spell work, I'm sure it is quite possible to curse or hex someone.  I doubt it happens very often, in any case, since a well-wrought curse requires more planning, focus and effort than someone is normally capable of when they're incensed or otherwise emotionally distraught (and that's probably a good thing!).

3. What would make you believe that someone was working magic against you, and how would you handle the situation?

It would take a series of extremely blatant and serious mishaps in my life, which could not be otherwise explained, in order for me to believe that someone was working magic against me!  But if such a thing did come about, or if I knew that someone were directing a great deal of negativity toward me, I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it.  To some extent, you have to believe in a curse, or the power of the person casting the hex, in order for it to affect you significantly.  The best defense is a good offense, and an all-purpose protection spell is an excellent start (especially if you work it not only upon yourself and your loved ones, but also your home, car, and possibly even your place of employment).  Making a habit of developing (and reinforcing) good magical/psychic shields is a good idea in any case, and if you do the job right, it should protect you against any negative energies sent your way.  As a last resort, if you know for a fact that someone is cursing you, a binding against them from causing harm may be an option...but binding is almost a form of cursing, and also not to be taken lightly.  What goes around, comes around.

Or, as my dear best friend and co-conspirator says, "Beltane is so very passe these days -- we should rename it Bel-chicka-bow-bow."  (You have to say it as if it were a naughty movie...you know, the XXX-rated ones. *grin*)  Because we all know what Beltane is about....(NSFW!)

First of May

Jonathan Coulton

3 comments

It's about freaking time!  Now military veterans of the Pagan and/or Wiccan persuasion can have pentacles inscribed on government-issued memorial markers for their graves.

I started this blog about 7 months ago, and soon thereafter decided to focus it mainly on spirituality (since I have an LJ for silly memes/quizzes, and a regular blog for everything else).  Possibly part of why I went a little crazy here on the Wiccan topics in recent months was a vague uncertainty as to exactly what I believe -- in the sense that I've been practicing Wicca for at least 12 years, and I'm extremely knowledgeable and experienced in most aspects of it, but wanted to define more precisely what it all means to me, to clarify various aspects of it for myself.  In many ways, I feel an abject lack of identification with, or sense of "belonging" to, any particular Wiccan group or tradition.  Over the years, I've occasionally questioned whether I'm actually Wiccan...but have largely chosen to stick with that label as a "default setting" -- because I feel even less identification with any other type of Pagan group that I've heard of, or researched.  Although my personal deities are from the Norse pantheon, I don't feel a connection with Ásatrú or the other Northern European Pagan trads -- and I definitely don't like the idea of using any language that I don't understand in religious rites.  (Sometimes I think I'd be Discordian if I took my faith less seriously than I do!)

Belonging is rather a big deal to me.  For much of my life, I've felt that I didn't belong, in one way or another...so when I do feel a sense of belonging, I tend to be fiercely loyal and protective toward whatever (or whomever) engenders that feeling in me (when it's a person, I tend to be so loyal and devoted that -- as my beloved Geoffrey says -- I'm a "pit bull of love").  The most sense of belonging I've ever had in my religion/faith was within the CUEW, but that's not so much a tradition as a set of guidelines and doctrines; the CUEW doesn't have a litany of rituals or other specific outlines to follow (not that I'd follow them exactly, anyway, but it's nice to have a framework to personalize from).

In any case, I've given a fair amount of thought over the years (since before my Priestess initiation in April 1997, actually) to developing my own specific Pagan tradition -- one that, while adapting many Wiccan themes and some of the mythos, wouldn't/couldn't be defined as a Wiccan tradition because of certain divergent ideas/beliefs.  I actually had a collection of rituals, prayers/meditations, and other writings key to my personal tradition on the harddrive of my very first computer (a Tandy 386), which -- as luck (fate?) would have it -- slagged down and left the data completely inaccessible before I had printed or saved it on disk.  I've never been interested in figuring out if there was some kind of "reason" that happened -- I prefer to be practical and consider it a lesson in backing up data, and nothing more.

(I just lost a couple of really good paragraphs quite stupidly.  Don't trust that "Recover" button, people -- at least, not without copying & pasting what you've got in front of you to Notepad first.  Just don't.  And gee, the "Recover" button put me right back at the spot where I was talking about backing up data?  I really hate it when it seems the gods are laughing at me.)

Anyway, some of the stuff I lost to the "Recover" button had to do with not being interested in teaching or publishing my personal practices.  I learned many years ago that I'm not a good teacher or effective leader...although I do a fair imitation of a decent mentor.  *grin*  And my understanding is that a tradition (in the Wiccan/Pagan sense of the term) isn't actually a tradition until it's been studied and practiced by someone who learned from the originator (and some even add "and passed it on to yet another person").  So I wouldn't be developing a tradition, just a set of personal practices and ideology.  It would simply be something that would have, thoroughly and deeply, a "rightness" and sense of "belonging" for me personally.

There was more, but my brain has reached the point where I'm too tired and run-down to be decently coherent.  Maybe later this weekend...

Here's a Witches Weekly on the Divine:

What is your definition of the divine, if you believe in divinity at all? (Do you adhere to a god/goddess, one spirit, many deities, etc)

The divine really has to be undefinable to some extent, in my view.  I can't believe in a "Higher Power" that is completely definable!  I believe that God/dess is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent -- and that humans are incapable of truly understanding how and why this is, or how and why God/dess allows certain things to occur (which are generally seen as undesirable to us, like natural disasters or mass killing sprees or most other kinds of suffering).  I believe that, "All gods are one God, all goddesses are one Goddess, and there is but one Initiator."  Some have questioned how this could be, in that the God of one religion is so different from the God of another religion...my understanding is that it's not God who is misinterpreted, but rather the people who believe God is a specific way who are misinterpreting.  (I may very well be misinterpreting God!  And I don't feel it undermines my devout beliefs to admit that.)  Perhaps some must see God in certain ways in order to fulfill their purpose in this life (whether or not reincarnation is what happens to us after physical death), but in any case, I don't believe that there is any "one, true way."  (That puts me at odds with 98% or more of the rest of the world's religious believers, of course, but that's just the way the cookie gets completely stomped and obliterated.)  Personally, I view God/dess as both general (when I refer to them as the Lord and the Lady), and as specific (when I refer to them as my personal deities or as specifically-named deities of another pantheon).  Those who have trouble with that concept are encouraged to seek understanding of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (who happens to be my teenage daughter's favorite deity, at least for the time being.  Wikipedia states that "there are no actual believers in this mock goddess," but of course Wikipedia is wrong, or at least is unfamiliar with teenage girls and what they will take seriously, because she certainly does take it at least as seriously as she does the drama-llama farming of her peers...she also jokingly proselytizes the Invisible Pink Unicorn to her friends).  Anyway, I take seriously whatever others (who are not flaming brainless dingbats) genuinely profess to be their religious beliefs...and I respect their beliefs up to the point that those beliefs impinge upon my rights to live and practice my beliefs.  If someone seriously, solemnly, and devoutly believes that God/dess is a giant fluorescent worm named Dirk who lives too deep in the earth to ever be seen by humans, I will respect Dirk as part of the "All gods are one God" concept.  Even in the midst of my suppressed giggles.

I haven't posted a Witches Weekly in ages.  I haven't posted a new question on Pagan Ponderings in ages.  I haven't posted much of anything on Vox in a while... and why is that?

I have a new job, and have just completed my second week of working there.  It's not even full-time, but it's a lot more physical activity than I'm used to, and all of it on my feet...which leaves me tired & footsore at the end of the day, wanting nothing more than to curl up on the sofa and crochet a little whilst I watch a bit of TV.  My kitchen has not been up to my standards in cleanliness in days, I just did laundry (Thursday night) for the first time in almost 2 weeks, the cats are misbehaving because they don't get as much spoiling from Momma as they're used to, and I've generally had no energy for anything other than the very most basic necessities.  I suspect that if I wasn't already in the habit of taking a daily multivitamin, I'd be even worse off.

And my right wrist is quite red from irritation because I've been applying sports tape around it to cover up my Celtic knotwork tattoo since we're not supposed to have visible tattoos.  The tape has got to go, which means my only other option is long sleeves or one of those "slap bracelets" that wraps around the wrist snugly.  They were quite popular about a decade ago (ish); hopefully I can find one -- somewhere! -- that isn't a garish color.

It's difficult to focus on spirituality when you're rather wiped out physically.

(I barely have the energy for sex, for crying out loud!  And I really, really love sex!  I mean, really -- I have two steady boyfriends and still often complain that I'm not getting laid frequently enough!  My favorite part of the Charge of the Goddess is, "All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals."  The thought of being too tired & drained to enjoy having sex?  Dreadful, utterly and completely horrid!)